Start Poppin' Ladies

Fuck this stigmatic social standard. Apparently what men, or I should say what women want, is to waltz around in their packs of fellow skeletons, all barely living coat hangars draped in the finest apparel. Each one eating less than the other to ensure they lure their prey of men. It's like a sadistic game of cat and mouse, only the cat is the male, chasing the mouse that never eats it's cheese. Thankfully I have never dropped to the living deads standards. I am able to maintain my healthy figure while allowing myself to indulge in the practice of feasting. I couldn't imagine choosing a lifestyle where it's normal for my stomach to scream at me. I watch them in dismay as they sit in cafeterias, agonizingly smelling the aromas of the meals they cannot have.  While adjacent, their boyfriends gorge on heaped platters of once blissful beasts. Unfortunately this innovation has spread worldwide, not allowing me to ever escape the horrific sight of a breathing corpse. Isn't it obvious that one has reached it's limits, when you can see their vital organs working from afar? Thankfully, I know how a real woman should eat. Always exercise, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, eat two carrots a day, and pop the necessary vitamins to compensate!

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