Happy Valentines Day Infidels.

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Mmmm Valentines Day, one of the happiest days of the year. Where public displays of affection are common and so are the suicides... Celebrate your relationships with a long walk in Central Park, hand in hand as you receive eskimo kisses from your significant other. You'll continue on your picturesque walk, ignoring the swarms of unfortunates pecking at your feet, searching for any love left behind. You'll stomp on the tears of the single ladies, and aid in destroying the livers of the men, because you're in love. You've won, you're the ones who planned ahead. To be single on Valentines Day is like the face of a newly announced father on Jerry Springer. Whether you like it or not, you're screwed. So kids play it safe, and wait a week or so before you break it off, because "It's not you, It's me."