Get ready all you football fanatics, today's the day where you blokes can let loose and get wasted!! When I say wasted I really mean it, go on, jump into a pool of generic beer and soak all that shit up. Don't stop until your mind does first. Become incoherent, turn your body into a broken device that's molded to the couch. Have you ever noticed how intimate football is? It's a group of large muscular men all getting up in each others business. What makes this funny is that all the viewers are extreme homophobes, but they love footy. They can do whatever when watching football... 

 Oh, and don't forget to thank your wives for being your second set of arms that cordially supplies your thirst addiction, what a lady.